About The Clockwork Doctor

Steampunk Plague Doctor, Costumer, and Lover of SciFi. Real life Weapons Technician, and Writer's Tech Consultant. Founder of the Dead Tree Society. I'm also known as Tek in the Nutty Debates on Nutty Bites.

A Sensible Guide to Preparing for the Zombie Appocalypse

Zombies approach the Channel 7 building in Chicago, by Eric Ingrum

World War Z.  Z-Day.  The Zombie Plague.  The Horde.  There are countless names to describe this horrifying scenario.  The dead coming back to life to feast upon the remains of the living.  One bite, and you’ll become one of them?  What hope do we have?  We fight back, of course!

Realistically, the threat of a zombie apocalypse is minor to non-existent, but it does make for an interesting mental exercise (and great marketing. I’ll get to that later).  How would one prepare to survive against a horde of creatures immune to pain, cold, fear and rational tactics?  The steps used in preparing against such an onslaught are similar to what the ‘preppers’ plan for every day… a major catastrophe that destroys the political, social and even physical world around us.  Surviving in this nightmare will be tricky, but let’s plot this out logically.

To begin, let’s set some ground rules.  The Zombie horde is coming.  We find ourselves in an urban environment, with all of the modern amenities to choose from.  In this guide I’ll deal with equipping only ourselves, with a concentration (Of course) on weaponry.  If you’re looking for a serious preppers guide to surviving any apocalypse, I’d check out my brother in law’s blog at ponderingsbyian.blogspot.ca for some no-nonsense advice.  The zombies we face are of the standard, shambling, mindless type.  I’ll discuss faster types, but we’ll stick with them being unintelligent for now.  Plain Ol’ shoot-em-in-the-head Zombies.  Before we talk about what we SHOULD carry, let’s talk about what we definitely SHOULD NOT. Continue reading

Part 4 of A Ballistics Guide for Geeks, Writers and Geeky Writers: Terminal Ballistics

A Fired .38 caibre Hollow Point round, completely expanded and deformed after striking its target. From Wikipedia, by user Rickochet

Welcome back! So far we’ve talked about the flight of projectiles, and how things change as our projectiles and the atmosphere around them change.  Now lets talk about what happens to our projectiles when they actually impact with something!

These projectiles that we’ve thrown have now flown from their projector to the other end of their ballistic trajectory.  Eventually, they’ll hit something other than the medium they are flying in.  Wether it’s the intended target, something that happens to be in the way, or one of those weird bubblegum asteroids those Sci-Fi writers keep dreaming up, something will happen. Continue reading

How to Camouflage Anything, Part 1: A Lawnmower

In this series I will discuss various techniques of applying camouflage to everyday objects.  Why you ask?  Easy! Cause camouflage is cool! that’s why!

My Lawnmower has been an awful eyesore for a while now.  Stored outside and ignored, it was starting to rust.  It needed a coat of paint, and I Figured, why the Hell not? Let’s paint this bad boy up!  I went downstairs and picked up some basic painting supplies:

  • 3 cans of Krylon Camouflage matte spray paint.
  • 1 can of rust primer.
  • 1 Green Scotchbrite pad
  • 4 Plastic bags and a roll of masking tape
  • 1 old laundry bag.

I Highly recommend the Krylon brand of Camouflage paint to anyone who wants to try this or similar techniques.  It is incredibly fast drying, doesn’t drip very much, and lays down the flattest colour I’ve ever seen in a spray paint.  Absolutely no shine.  I’d paint anything I’d have to carry overseas with this paint, I like it that much.

 To start, I cleaned up all of the grass clippings and dirt clinging to the mower.  When painting, the time spent in prep will pay off 10 times more than time spent painting.  A good paint job is all in the prep.  So don’t skimp here, and make sure your surfaces are all nice and clean.  Once all the Dirt and grass was removed, I attacked the lawn mower with the scotchbrite pad.  The object here was to remove the thick scales of rust, and get as close to bare metal as possible.  I also did the rest of the body, and all the plastics to give the paint a clean surface to adhere to.  Next up was masking.  Any area that you don’t want painted needs to be masked off.  I used plastic shopping bags to cover the wheels and height adjusters, and then some masking tape to cover the red handles and the ends of the foam handle bars.  A small section was used to cover the front vent for the motor.

The rust primer I used was grey in colour.  Always pick a primer that is a different colour than your base colour of paint.  This will help you later on as you apply your layers to ensure you have complete coverage.  It took 3 very light coats of primer to coat the whole thing.  The coats were going on very dry, drying almost on contact.  3 more light coats of the black were applied to the whole mower as a base colour.  Touch ups were done anywhere where I could still see primer. The old laundry bag was then draped over (once dry) and I began applying the brown in quick, dry coats.  When the laundry bag is removed, a snake scale like pattern is left behind, which makes the basis for the paint job.

I walked around the yard, and picked up a few leaves, of various species and sizes.  Remember, camouflage serves to break up the outline of whatever you are hiding, so it’s important to match it to the surroundings.  There’s no point in painting something to look like a pine forest if you’re hiding it in a reedy marsh.  I glued the leaves on, sprayed over some coats of green paint, then pulled the leaves off.  Automagically, tadaa! Camouflage mower!  The Ca-Mower!

In hindsight, the only thing I’d do different is reverse the order of colours.  I’d base with the green, then glue the leaves on, THEN spray paint the black and brown before removing the leaves.  This would leave the leaves in green over a black and brown background.  Either way, the camo works.  Who knows when I’ll have another episode in this series.  I’m sure quite a few things around the house need painting.  We’ll see.

Part 3 of A Ballistics Guide for Geeks, Writers, and Geeky Writers: Stability and Recoil

Welcome back all!  In last week’s episode we talked about external ballistics, and the forces that affect a projectile in flight.  We also talked about those same projectiles flying around on Mars, in outer space, and on planets made of bubblegum.  This week we’ll discuss stability of a projectile, and the things we can do to limit the effect those forces have on the projectile’s flight.

So what can we do to help them out? obviously we want to hit our target and Mother Nature (or other resident natural deity on whatever sci-fi world you’re writing) is doing her damnedest to make sure we miss.  We have to find some way stabilizing our projectile, to make it less susceptible to outside forces.  Here’s what would happen if we fired a projectile with no means of improving stability, as it flies, minute disturbances and inequalities in forces applied cause it to tumble.  This video comes from YouTube user vidaday, and is awesome.

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An Introduction to Ballistics for Geeks, Writers, and Geeky Writers: Part 2 of Many

Welcome back!  Today, let’s talk about external ballistics.

Bullet coming from S&W by Niels Noordhoek

Anything and everything on earth is affected by gravity.  Objects fall towards the earth at a constant rate, known as the gravitational constant (9.8 m/s²) .  I hear those sci-fi writers again.  Yes, if we were on the moon, or Mars, or somewhere else, that constant would be different, and the ballistic flight will be different, but let’s get there in a bit shall we?  Impatient Sci-Fi writers!  As a quick reference, Moon Gravity is roughly 1/6th that of earth, and Mars is roughly 1/3. Newton tells us that an object in motion remains in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.  So in a theoretical, gravity free environment, the projectile would just keep going straight, in the last direction it was propelled. Of course, Gravity isn’t the only thing that affects a projectile.  The medium it flies in also plays a big part, by adding drag.  The air itself slows the projectile down.  In a vacuum there would be no aerodynamic drag, and the projectile would keep its velocity, until acted upon by something else.

That Newton guy is everywhere isn’t he?

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