Facebook friends vs Reality

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While driving home today there was a segment on CBC that talked about the fad of adding friends to your facebook. The man sharing his story admitted to having around 700 friends, he tried to throw a part inviting all of those friends to a local bar and was shocked when only one showed up. He realized that these facebook friends weren’t friends at all and just a myth

This made me shake my head. Facebook was never meant to be the new myspace, never meant for strangers. I would think the name facebook implies this is someone you have or have had face time with. Perhaps I’m wrong. I have three high school aged nieces who have hundreds of friends of facebook. Basically they make friends with anyone that goes to their school whether they know them or not, this seems a little dangerous to me, but they don’t see a problem.

Now I’ve been on facebook for a few years now (people complain about the new facebook software yet I’ve seen more then a few revisions of the software) it was originally presented to me as a networking site for business. Something like LinkedIn. I thought it might help with landing freelancing jobs so I was convinced. I never realized what it was until after I joined. After everyone else started joining too. I had to quick, back track and reformat my user profile. As it was, some people who I have only ever known online ended up finding out *gasps* my real name from the site. So far I have been able to keep my real name (the one that business contacts and prospective employers would be searching) away from my online name and identity. Work contacts do not need to know how I spend my off time, how often I game, how much I like cult hits, Joss Whedon shows and Star Trek. More importantly, work contacts don’t need to know the real me, they only need to know what I can do for them :)

Once I fell into the facebook thing I was often left wondering why I checked the site at all. What with the constant invitations to the werewolf applications, help my garden grow, and many others it was more a nuisance then anything else. Now though, it has finally become something I love, not for the software but from what the site gives me. Access to my family. Access to people I don’t get to see too often. Access to people who aren’t interested in blogging, podcasts, twitter or any of the other internet geeking that I enjoy.

After checking just now I have 147 friends on facebook. I admit that sounds like a lot but when you consider that around 30 of them are actually my family. I have a big immediate family and ALL of them are on facebook! Even my mother is on facebook, and that really was the turning point for me. (Everyone and your mother is on Facebook). Once my Mom started on facebook I really started to love the site. All of my siblings are on there and now all of their significant other’s are also on facebook and that’s awesome! I live almost 1000 miles away from most of my family so I don’t get to see them all the time, but thanks to facebook I am not out of their lives. I get to see the day to day stuff that happens that wouldn’t make it into a phone call, email or Christmas card. It is the same with the friends I left when I moved so far away.

Also, on facebook people from high school have started asking to be my friend (which is funny since I had no friends in high school :) and it is kinda neat to see what they have done with their lives and what they are doing. Some of them are still in the same town, some just still on the island and some have moved all over the world. It’s nice to see who had kids and who picked what career, but seriously, I don’t interact with them too often. I have just started to reconnect with people from college, and that really excites me as they were my friends and I really do want to know what they did with their lives. Of all of my college friends I would say I miss seeing each and every one of them. I love college and I loved the people I met there. Sadly there is only one person from college that I see often and if by often I mean a few times a year then yes, often. It’s really great to be able to connect with these people again, and while I would love to meet up with them again I know we will not be in each other’s daily lives in any way other then facebook, and that is good enough for me.

I have a whole bunch of people on facebook from my Role Playing community, I have known these people for years, some for 14 years. Some I have never met face to face and never spoke to on the phone, yet they still matter to me. Some I have met often, one I married :) Some are my best friends and came to my wedding. Some are my best friends but couldn’t come to my wedding. Some are in other countries, some on the other side of the world. Some are not far away at all. These people have known me as a student, starting out in my career all the way up until now. Some barely know me, others know almost all of my secrets.

Then I have the podcasting group, a bunch of people I have met through listening and contributing to podcasts. I can’t even remember how half of them ended up on my facebook. A mess of them are from Buffy Between the Lines for which I lend my voice in small roles and do some cover art. BBTL is unique since it is really a community with lots of emailing and a 24-7 skype chat that is open, I have made some good friends there. Some of which I met while going to the Scott Sigler signings for his book CONTAGIOUS. (Oh yeah, he’s one of my facebook friends too) I hope to meet more at a CON or two this spring. Some people met me at the Sigler signings or other events and asked to be friended, so I did.

Not everyone has the same access though. This is what I love about facebook, you can set your own limits. Someone wants to be your friend on facebook but you don’t really know them too well or trust them? Simple, friend them but limit their access. Some people are locked down tight, they can’t see any personal information, they can’t see anything interesting or any pictures I post, but they can see links and what I let them see. Some people just can’t see pictures I post of other people, like members of my family or my nieces and nephews. Also, if there is something I want to post, but don’t want a particular person to see it, I can block them. Almost all of my pictures are set to only allow my friends to see them, no friends of friends or anything else. Others, like the Signing party pictures, pictures of the cakes I’ve made and some bitstrips are open to everyone.

Most of my attention on facebook is with the people I know, and well I have to say of the 147 friends, I would say I know…. 100-120 of them? I don’t understand  friending someone just to friend them. Do you think having a higher number of friends will make people think you’re just that cool? Honestly, unless you are someone who needs to promote, like Scott Sigler, Mur Lafferty, Tee Morris, JC Hutchens or anyone like that, and I see you have multiple hundred friends I think you’re a spammer.

ho R U? thx by

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This is going to be a rant.

I hate LOL speak!

Correction, as someone once said there is a time and a place for everything, and the time and place for LOL speak is in big bold letters on top of pictures of cute cats and the like. (I am all for LOLcats and other icanhascheezburger.com related sites)

I understand that there are times when your character use is limited, text messaging, twitter updates and other mini communications. Here’s what I don’t understand, why is it that you type a U for you or a UR for your? You are only saving yourself two characters, do you need them that badly? Fine, you are strapped for character space, but why do I need a decoder ring to read your text? I understand typos, I mistype more then anyone. I understand spelling errors, I am not great at spelling and when using a phone to post, it is hard to get it right. Can’t people try? I hate it when it is clear that the poster doesn’t care to write properly.

It isn’t the actual use of the LOL speak that bothers me, it is the laziness and lack of respect for the language that bothers me. When I see LOL speak in emails, memos, blogs or worse yet hand written letters and notes, oh it just kills me.

How hard is it to hit the shift key with your pinky as you type the word I? Obviously you seem to be able to do it when writing U for you. People who know how to type shouldn’t use these short cuts, it doesn’t make you look cute, it makes you look like you are 7 or 80 and just got your first computer.

I love that most programs now underline misspelled words with a red line. I could right click and select the correct spelling but then I would never learn. I try to figure the correct spelling out myself to help myself improve. I like to use the writing I do on the internet to improve my skills, spelling, typing, grammar, you name it. There is always room for improvement. I do a lot of the old outdated things and I know it is uncommon and unliked by the newer crowds but I do it, it feels right to me. What do I mean? Well like putting two spaces after a period, sure newer word processing programs automatically make the right space after the period but I started typing on a typewriter, and before the programs did such things. (and wordpress takes out the extra space when I save a draft, thanks for foiling me WP!)

I don’t mind using common acronyms like LOL, j/k and the like, these have become a way to express tone on the internet, like an emoticon. These are actually very important. I just want to scream when I see people who I know to be or I think may be really smart in life, look so dumb online, and now in written word. Working in schools I am seeing that kids don’t realize that these shortcuts aren’t part of english, and if we aren’t careful they will be part of our language. I already have had students tell me they don’t need to learn to spell because of spell check. I have seen the dreaded R and U in homework, scholastic essays and cards written to me, how is this considered OK?

I love the internet and I love technology, but we can’t let the tools that make life easier make us stupider. (Example Having a GPS is great, but you still need to know how to read a map and navigate or you will end up at a dead end with the little box in your car telling you to drive through the trees and no clue how to get home.)

I know this will get me more comments about how it is OK to use this bad english and that you don’t need to capitalize on the internet and that I am over reacting. I know that this will spark people to purposefully use LOL speak to irritate me. (As I have seen evidenced when I made a comment on facebook about this and now my whole family is out to get me with LOL speak.) I also know that this will only make people point and laugh at me when I screw up with my own typing and grammar, because lets face it, I’m no Grammar Girl.

As I type this, I see I am at over 700 words, and while I love to ramble on, the people of the internet and those who use LOL speak have stopped reading by now because of their short attention spans. So I am going to shut up now. I said my peace, I know it won’t change anything, but it bothers me. I just hear my mother yelling in my ear about proper writing when I read this stuff and it hurts.

And then the cat looked at me and thought “I must be a God.”

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Smiley

So last night I was doing the dishes when my sister noticed something strange by the cat’s food bowl. Upon closer inspection it was clear that it was a ball of poo! Grossed out she looked around in horror to think that one of her cats pooed in the house and not in the litter box. Now this is strange, because cats don’t like to poo or pee near their food. Then she noticed the problem, the cat, the new kitten had poo balls hanging from her long fur and one dropped near the food bowl.

“Smiley!” Myself, my sister and my niece all exclaimed at once.

Next up, my sister catching the cat and holding her still, I am holding the rear and legs in place while my sister takes wet paper towel to try and clean the cat. Now this was a very smelly and gross process yet all three of us were laughing because essentially we were wiping a cat’s butt! My niece kept us stocked up in wet towels till we realized this is more serious, we had to cut the poo out! Now Smiley is a long hair, an extremely long haired cat, so it was not so easy. The poor thing was trying to cover her rear with her tail, not pleased at our attention.

Finally the poo was out, we searched the house for any other poo balls and were able to go to bed in peace.

This morning we discovered the same damned thing! The cat had poo balls again! And the decision was made, something had to be done. We can’t wipe this cat’s tush every time she uses the litter. So the task was put to me to take her to a groomer and see if they can shave her tush. This idea sounded strange and odd to all of us, but seemed like the only solution.

My sister went to work, my niece and I took care of the cat. My niece was a big help, this is her cat so she should be. We get the cat into the carrier, which wasn’t too hard, she is so much easier to handle then my cat (and my niece’s other cat) Candy. Candy hates the carrier and it takes three people to get her in it, she is a free spirit. Smiley went in with ease, we picked her up and put her in, she didn’t even try and fight. She did however mew very pathetically. It was so sad.

Candy

We get to the groomer my mother uses for her dog (and her cat that my other sister stole!), parked, walked around the building to find not only is it closed, but it doesn’t even have hours listed. Urgh! Now I want to remind you all, I am a cat person, cat’s should/usually groom themselves so this whole going to a groomer is all new to me. So we get the cat back in the car and drive to another place we know of. Go in, find out yes they can help, but their cat guy isn’t in today. “Sorry,” I say, “This can’t wait a day. Do you know of any other place I can go?” He sends me to the Petco in North Bay Shore. Back in the car we go, to the Petco. Out of the car, in with the groomers. Why yes Petco offers that service, but at this Petco they only do nails, we need to go to the West Babylon Petco. OK, back in the car, cat still mewing so sadly you want to cry, drive over to the other Petco. In the Petco, explain the problem (it is pretty rehearsed at this point) and find out, why yes, they do that.

The service is called a “Sanitary” (think kitty Brazillian) and people with long hair cats need to do this or just this happens. They were shocked this is the first time we had a problem. They said it is worse for females (Smiley is a female) because they squat more. They take the clippers to her and let me tell you, the fur coming off, it doesn’t look pretty. Then they brushed her up and then they started doing something to her paws. I asked what they were doing only to find they were clipping her nails!!!! You can not clip this cat’s nails, I don’t care if they grow back as the ladies claimed, this cat while she is an indoor cat lives with an 8 year old indoor/outdoor cat who doesn’t like her. While Smiley starts the fights, Candy always wins, if Smiley doesn’t have nails then she has no chance! Smiley is only around 6 months old too, though she was tiny at first is the same size as the 8 year old cat. The ladies are shocked she is so young, then they tell me it is because she is a Maine Coon. Excuse me? Smiley is a Maine Coon? Really? This is a highly sought after breed, even I know this and I don’t know much about breeds. She is most likely not pruebred though you never know, she was a hurricane rescue, she was abandoned in a hurricane and it always makes me sad to think anyone could abandon any animal let alone one so cute.

All in all, the total was 6 bucks, that’s it! Crazy right? So this kitty will be getting a “Sanitary” more often :)

This was a Pet Emergency, not that the cat was in any danger (aside from being murdered for spreading poo all over the house) it was an emergency because it needed immediate attention because I can’t have poo all over the place, and this isn’t even my house. I will say that luckily the poo spread was only in the kitchen and the living room, which is completely empty, so we were lucky.