Inspired by The Bathtub’s Mermaid episode for today I have decided to write a letter for future women. I think a lot of this can apply to all genders but a lot of it is specific for women or people who menstruate.
Dear Future Woman
Today you have reached a milestone in your life and you may be looking for a roadmap to navigate your life. I can’t give you that. I can give you some tips I have learned through life and observation.
Marriage isn’t the end result, the happily ever after. Focus on yourself first.
Get an education. This doesn’t mean you have to go to college/university, but you do have to learn. Find your passion and learn and explore.
Read, keep reading and you will continue learning. Reading is an escape and a connection to the world.
Trade Schools can be just as much fun and helpful as universities, if your passion lies in a trade, get the proper education and follow that trade.
Roommates are a great life lesson that will teach you how to deal with people even if you can’t stand how they clean the bathroom.
Don’t move in with a romantic partner unless you are thinking of long term commitment, as in decades worth.
Don’t move in with a romantic partner who hasn’t lived out of their parents house yet. Also, don’t move in with a romantic partner right out of your parents house. You each need to learn how to be on your own first before living together, otherwise one of you will take over the parental role and that’s not fun in a relationship.
You are allowed to say no. In life, in love, and in work, you can say no. You don’t have to do things because someone asks you. You should never do things when someone expects you to.
Travel. Get out of the bubble you grew up in, explore the world. Go abroad and travel this country. Meet new people and see how others live.
Don’t get trapped in student debt. Borrow what you can manage and never go for unsubsidized loans.
A credit card is a scary thing, always pay it off at the end of the month, pay more than you need to, always make that the goal.
Own your own sexuality. Masterbate and learn about your body and what it likes or doesn’t like. There is nothing shameful or dirty about it, it’s just getting to know you. Treat yourself well and demand others treat you as well. If and when you are ready for a sexual relationship or encounters, participate because you want to, always do it for you, not for anyone else. And know that it is ok if you don’t want to or if sex isn’t something that is for you. Never expect someone to be sexual with you even if they have before, each encounter is an exchange of desire and permission and that is the sexiest thing there is.
You are beautiful no matter what. You don’t owe anyone beauty but you will always posses it. It is yours to share if you like but you don’t have to. You don’t owe anyone anything.
Love yourself. Take the time to enjoy your own company and treat yourself to rewards and self care. You deserve it.
Your cycle sucks, I’m sorry. It’s not magical and wonderful, it’s only useful when you want to use it and until then it’s annoying. A diva cup, instead, or other form of cup is a wonderful thing. Tampons and Pads aren’t all there is to handle it. Everyone has a different body and what works for one person won’t for another, find the sizes you need and go with that. Never feel shame for bleeding, you are a warrior enduring, never forget it. If it’s too bad talk to your gyno or PP to find a way to handle it. You do not have to suffer.
You can swim during your flow. You can do almost any sport, and you can do martial arts in a white gi. Also, cold water on blood stains first then wash it.
The hymen breaking thing is a myth! It doesn’t break, it may stretch but it doesn’t break. You shouldn’t bleed your first time, if it hurts too much tell your partner you need to stop. Lube is a wonderful thing and is part of safe sex, use it. You may not always need it but often in your first times it helps a whole bunch. It’s ok if your first time is awkward and weird, you never did this before.
The amount of people someone has slept with has nothing to do with their self worth or value as a person.
Do be careful, protection is just as sexy as not. Every penis can fit into a condom. It doesn’t spoil the mood. When having hetero sex use two methods of birth control and stay on top of it. It’s one of these things that happens when you don’t want it to. Like getting your period the day you wear white shorts.
Always ask employees to take more takes out than the standard, especially with part time jobs and especially when you have multiple jobs.
Don’t use whitening tooth paste.
Your size only determines what clothes you buy at the store. It does not determine your health, your attractiveness, or your value as a person. You can do anything you want to, even if it requires modification of the action or your goals.
Potheads do not make good partners. Nor do people who don’t have any responsibilities.
Enjoy your youth but also plan for being older, because you have a lot longer time on this earth older than young.
Stay young inside. You may age but never grow up, never lose your passion.
Fine people who are passionate about things you are passionate about. Never let anyone make you feel bad for loving something.
You matter.