I have never been a fan of Valentines day… well… that’s not entirely true.  For most of my life Valentines day has confused me and I haven’t been a fan.  I used to love Valentines day, I would wake up in the morning and under my pillow was a Russell Stovers chocolate covered marshmallow heart (or possibly a mini Whitman’s Sampler with 4 pieces in it).  It goes without saying it brought a smile to my face, knowing my mother snuck into my room and hid that there, it was sweet (pun intended).  When I first moved out of the house and moved in with my older sister in the city my first valentines day I woke up with candy under my pillow, my mother asked her to put it there.  I wanted to cry I was so touched, I’ll never forget that.

When I was little, Valentines was sweet, everyone gave each other cards in school and candy under my pillow.  Then came the Candy Grams and the Carnations that could be sent to classmates in class.  No one gave each other Valentines now, and not everyone got a candy gram or a carnation (It was different depending on the school).  That was the first time I realized how much Valentines sucked.  I was mocked for not receiving, I didn’t think it was that big a deal when it started.  I send a candy gram (hershey kisses) to my best friend, but I never got one back.  I didn’t realize that in the sixth grade I was supposed to have a romantic interest.  (funny enough, I did have one, a boy in my karate class from another town, but everyone thought he was made up)  I also didn’t know that I would be judged and mocked for not having someone interested in my, that my value as a person would be judged by how many candy grams I got.  The next year I sent my candy gram out to my best friend again, and one to myself so I wouldn’t be left out.  It didn’t help.  Even before the teasing started I knew that the only reason I got an Anonymous Candy Gram is because I paid a dollar and sent one to myself.  The teasing started because everyone accused me of sending one to myself… in hind sight, had I actually gotten one from a boy (or girl) I would have still been teased, cruel.

I spent all of school looking at kids with candy and flowers on February 14th, it got worse in high school, sure I wasn’t teased directly anymore for not getting a carnation, but things were bigger and as someone not showered in presents I felt like the only one in school unloved.  Far from the truth I’m sure.  Looking back I am sure there were more single kids in my HS then those “so in love,” but I didn’t see that of course.  This is part of the big problem with Valentines Day.

Then college came, I finally had a boy friend for Valentines, and he took me out, we had a good time but really, it wasn’t any different then any other date.  I didn’t understand why I felt like crap at the end of the night when I had a boy friend on Valentines day.  Six more of these and Valentines Day never felt special, never gave me that great feeling of being loved, it actually felt like a chore.  Now I don’t blame the boy, he was wonderful, he would get me flowers, take me to a really nice place (Unless it was a year that I took him out), heck one year he bought me a star, another year he bought me Buffy the movie and season one on DVD (for anyone who knows me, they know those are great gifts).  Still, Valentines always felt empty to me.  I tried to tell him to calm down, not to over do things, but he just made a bigger deal of things.

When I got together with my now husband I remember talking about Valentines day with him, he hated it as much as I did, and I loved that.  Our first one together I think I got him a chef’s knife, not because it was Valentines day, but because he needed one and I went out and got him one (and some other essentials for his make shift kitchen in barracks.)  Since we have been together we never celebrated Valentines day.  If it’s a weekend we might go out to dinner, but we normally would.  We have gone out once to a special Valentines menu dinner at a local place that is a little fancy, not because we had to celebrate Valentines day but because we read the menu and HAD to try the food.  So glad we did, they had a dessert that is so far unmatched.  I’m happy with my way of celebrating.

Valentines day is not a religious holiday, it’s not based on a pagan holiday either.  It was posted on snopes like ten years ago how it was a store that wanted to sell cards that started all of this nonsense way back when.  Ever notice how when you read really old stuff you never see anything about Valentines?  Or how none of the old paintings depict Valentines day or St Valentine or the supposed pagan festival? No, because no one used to do this.  This is a made up holiday to sell stuff, comercialism at it’s best.

I just don’t want to be manipulated like that.

Also, if I love someone, I will tell them, we would have an anniversary to celebrate, what makes February the time to say I love you?  I mean we’re already snuggled up cause it’s cold outside hee hee

I will say, to me, Valentines Day is for kids.  It’s still sweet and nice and really that’s the best.  This year I will be with my niece and nephew on Valentines day, my husband and I are in different states so I made the kids Valentines.  I have to say, since I was a kid and filling in every classmate’s names on little red cards, I never felt so happy making a Valentine, it was a lot of fun.

So Valentines are for kids.